Make no apologies...

One of the best lines in a tv show.. ever?
 "I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke.."
Most people have been there, when a relationship falls apart, when you like someone and they make you promises and don't follow through or when the person you are crushing on, or someone you love, violates the trust you have given them.

It is one of the worst things ever when you put your belief in someone and get this little picture of happiness inside you, a feeling of hope and then it all comes crashing down. This has happened to me lately. Some people should not make promises or instill hope when they are unable to follow through.

Someone can judge you, berate you, not understand you- but if they have caused the pain, they should not really get a say as to how you pick up the pieces and eventually put them back together. Some days you just need, just want to make it to the next, You aren't concerned with been perfect, the word, the notion has no bearing, you just want to survive. To not feel alone. Disconnected. Unhappy.

If someone is going to solely base their opinion of you on you at your worst, you don't need them in your life. If they can't take you then, what makes you think they deserve you when you shine brightly? When you have so much to offer, so much joy, love, hope. They don't. Life isn't rainbows and sunshine every minute. Life is hard, life can be challenging. The important thing is not how you pick up and carry on (or how long it may take you to do so), but that you DO pick up the pieces and carry on. Take it one hour, one day, one week at a time. Rebuild. Reinvent. Renew.

A thought to finish, another quote from the character of Uncle Keith in One Tree Hill-

"Anyone who thinks this is more than you can handle is less than the kind of person you need in your life."

Find someone who understands, who is supportive and encouraging. They may not know what to do to help, but they will listen and comfort you.

Everyone needs a little bit of help sometimes...

Kooklah Xx

82 days and counting.

82 days.

82 days and counting. I have exactly 82 days left before I get to take my suitcase and run off with one of my closest friends on an amazing adventure to America.

I am so excited, I cannot wait to get on that plane and fly away, to the future, to excitment, to hope, to wonder (and wander), to fun, to learning, to experiences I will remember for the rest of my life.

It will be a whirlwind trip I am sure, blink and you will miss it. But I am going to make sure that I make the most of it. Live each and every moment or experience I am lucky to be presented with, to the absolute full. The flying, the new food, new places and people.

I am so thrilled. My whole year has been inspired by this holiday. I look forward to sharing the experience with my friend but also to making many more on the Contiki tour.

Where are you (or have you) already travelled to this year?
Kooklah, Xx

Alone does not mean LONELY...

This is something that very little people realise. Been alone, does not have to mean that you are lacking, that there is something 'wrong' with you, or that you are in fact lonely. It just doesn't.

For me, been fully single again, I am loving it. My decisions pretty much revolve around me. What I want. What I need. What I dream. I don't have to check in.

It is also the best chance for me to really work out what I want out of life, where I see my life going and how I want to spend my time here on earth. But also, to find myself- discover what I like and don't like, what I love, what my dreams are, the experiences I want, the goals I have.

And I have questions.

Is my chosen career really for me? I am not totally sure... I used to be, but now I am not totally sure.
Should I do another degree, or a course?
What kind of place do I want to buy?
What qualities do I look for in a partner? Which of these will I compromise on? Which will be non-negotiable- and therefore highlight dealbreakers?
Who are the people in my life who really matter and treat me like I matter to them?

I will be using this time to sort these questions but also to discover who I am and become the best possible version of that. I want to travel and see the world, I want to express my beliefs and support them publicly, do a good deed everyday, write down three positive things from each day, experiement with hair, makeup, clothes and accessories, and most of all spend time with my friends and family who make my world better.

Kooklah Xx
-here is something to put a smile on a single girl's face

Do It Yourself-decorate candle votives

I saw these pictures and thought they would make wonderful gifts for someone special, or amazing decorations and centerpieces for events like weddings and birthdays.

I think this idea is amazing, all you need is some different sized jars, tealight candles and some decorative fabrics. Lace, twine, sheer fabrics and sequins all achieve a beautiful look with the glow of the candle clearly evident. Very easy, use glue to attach the decorations, collect jars from products you use out of your pantry and go to stores to buy ribbion or lace (maybe even use old clothing?). Experiment with different colours too, for a unique spin on this idea!

Use floating candles in water to create a classic but still breathtaking look. This look to the right is one of my favourites. I like the use of different size and shaped glasses, with white candles floating in the water on top of a wooden table. I think this is a very romantic look- perfect for a date, anniversary or marriage proposal.

This is a very pretty look below. The tall (but still different heights) glasses with water and pink candles. What makes this look so special is the use of pink glass beads put in the bottom of the glass with a few strands around the outside. Very soft and pretty, perfect for a girl's birthday, engagement party, hen's night or a wedding.

                                                                                                                                                                                 The use of decorations on the bottom of the glass votives adds another dimension to the floating candles. I love the flower or stone options but have also seen coins, diamonties and pearls

                                                                                                                     

Candles simply in a vase with floral decorations-real or fake, scattered around the candle and then on the table is simple to achieve and looks incredible, as is adding a simple ribbion near the candle base.

And, to finish, an idea that I had never heard of or seen before, using 'citrus fruit shells' to hold candles. You cut the fruit in half and remove most of the fruit inside, and add a tealight candle (or add some water and a floating candle). Place three or four on a plate and put in the centre of the table. I think this is a very fresh idea and would be perfect for a summer barbeque!

Happy crafting! You don't have to be holding a special occasion or event to try these ideas, hold a mini dinner for you and some friends, or place them in your room! I think I am going to put a few in my room, good for nights when I'm listening to music or there is a storm I am watching.

K, Xx

http://forthestyleseekinggirl.blogspot.com/
http://kooklah.blogspot.com/
-

to do this summer

Since the end of December I have been working at completing a list I wrote, a summer bucket list if you will. I have 130 items on my list. I have completed around 44 of them with plans in place for the next few days to ensure I tick a few more off the list as well. Here is the list, I will update it tomorrow as to what I have completed already. It has been a really fun experience, and has encouraged me to make the most of every day and to appreciate the smaller things, particularly those I haven't done since I was a child.

So here is the list!!

1. Go on a picnic

2. Get up and watch a sunrise

3. Watch a sunset

4. Lie under the stars

5. Sleep under the stars

6. Lie on the grass and look at the clouds

7. Dance in the rain

8. Climb trees

9. Make a daisy chain

10. Water fight

11. Hand-feed an animal

12. Go on a hike/long walk

13. Watch Fireworks

14. Sleep on beach

15. Go to a pool party

16. Plant something

17. Walk Charlie (my dog)

18. Build a sandcastle

19. Look through telescope

20. Go on a boat

21. Dump a bucket of water on yourself

22. Mini golf/aqua golf

23. Walk along the beach

24. Beach at night

25. Jump on trampoline

26. Watch storm

27. Make a new friend

28. Girls night with Isabella and her 'chosen crew'

29. Play indoor

30. Cocktail night

31. Watch silence of the lambs with mum

32. Have/go to a bbq

33. Sleepover -old fashioned style

34. Start watching all of Seinfeld in order

35. Birthday dinner with Laura at Silo

36. Cook dinner for family

37. Photobooth pictures

38. Put message inside balloons and give them to someone

39. hang out with someone you haven't seen in ages

40. Hug someone each day

41. Read 10-15 books

42. rearrange/redecorate room

43. Write a chapter/multple pages of Violet story

44. Go to a movie alone

45. See a psychic

46. Create quote wall

47. Have a remedial massage

48. Have a facial

49. Paint nails all different colours

50. Scrabook event/friend/holiday

51. Develop Melbourne photos

52. Daily log photos on facebook

53. Time capsule

54. Stay up all night

55. Laser tag/paint ball

56. Send message in a bottle (or equivalent)

57. Create a summer playlist

58. Dance to the playlist in loungeroom or outside

59. Tie a secret to a balloon and let it go

60. Volunteer somewhere

61. Regular gym/fitness workouts

62. Do a good deed

63. Scream (empty room/isolated beach/roadside)

64. Send a postcard

65. Master five new hairstyles

66. Perfect a braid

67. Write a will/directive

68. Donate blood

69. Go to a fair

70. Have an ice cream spider

71. Put glitter hairspray in hair

72. Fingerpaint

73. Blow bubbles

74. Wear glowsticks

75. Watch 5 disney movies

76. Finish watching supernatural

77. Colour in

78. Climb on a jungle gym/play equipment

79. Skip with skipping rope/hula hoop

80. Go iceskating/rollerskating

81. Play truth and dare

82. Play fifa and kinect on xbox

83. Play board games

84. Play twister

85. Play bowling/yard boulee

86. Learn how to make a piece of origami

87. Make and fly a paper aeroplane

88. Play with a puppy/kitten

89. Buy someone a meal

90. Make iced tea or sangria

91. Donate money

92. Have a fondue night

93. Have/help with dinner party

94. Spend a day baking

95. Make homemade beauty products

96. Go on a mini road trip

97. Go to jets game not at newcastle

98. Go to a museum/gallery

99. Stay in a hotel after a night out

100. Go to a gig

101. Go to a market

102. Go on a gaol tour

103. Visit tourist spot near own home

104. Go through an open house

105. Go to an expensive store and try on clothes without buying anything

106. Send/give someone flowers for no reason

107. Write someone a letter

108. Tell someone how much they mean to you

109. Rent/watch history boys and two hands

110. Buy something from a yard sale

111. Meet a celebrity/near celebrity

112. Write letter to newspaper/magazine/ politician

113. Restore/revive blog

114. Revamp/create something with old clothes

115. Go to a Greek restaurant

116. opshop/vintage shop on a budget to create an outfit

117. Write a fan letter

118. Old movie day

119. Hippie day

120. Rockclimb

121. Go out and kiss/use a pick up line on a guy

122. Repaint my room

123. Tell a stranger they are beautiful/look good

124. Have a bubble bath with candles and a glass of wine

125. Go on or book a hot air balloon ride

126. Spend one day without using electricity

127. Send away for a passport

128. Start planning overseas trip

129. Create an Autumn list

130. Begin a bucket list for life (put a big piece of cardboard on door and write everything and anything that I think of)

I hope this list motivates someone!
K, Xx

My Male Best Friend

As I have written before having a close friend/s is so important ...someone to go through life with or be there to support each other when life kicks back hard.

I must admit I have a few of these friends... but one lately has really stood out. One of my best male friends, S*and ihave been friends for five years and met during year 11 in high school. There have been ups and downs but what has resulted is this beautiful, honest, supportive and loving friendship. It's really quite special.
We are the kind of friends where you feel more like family than friends (and we're that loyal too). He calls me his Sis, and for me he is like the older brother I never had, or the twin I used to wish I had. We have each other's backs and are always there to pick the other one up when they are down. We've survived illness, death and two breakups. Plus many more of the various lows life hits you with. We have also celebrated many highs like important birthdays, new relationships or exciting crushes, new jobs and other achievements and highs.

Lately since this year has brought an end to the relationships we were both in, our latest mission has been to be each others wingman or wingwoman. ;) it can be really fun and we honestly just want to see each other happy.
People tend to think a guy and a girl cannot 'just be friends ' but you definitely can ...I think opposite sex friendships are important, they have a different vibe to friendships between girls, a fresh perspective. I highly recommended it but you can't have a successful one if you're secretly hoping for a sexual or romantic relationship ...it works for us because we don't seek that from each other, we think each other are good people who deserve someone special but for us it's just friends.

From the outside to others it may just look like an ordinary friendship but to us it is really special,we have each others backs and I look forward to being his best friend for the rest of our lives.
"A true friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world is walking out"

Memories

Memory is a very powerful thing. If you're like me you hold important memories close. This could be favourite moments you have had, with people you'll never forget or it could be
moments that shocked you, teaching you a lesson...acting as a reminder of what loss, hurt or embarrassment can feel like. My memories are so important to me...and I will tell you why. When I was 16, I lost my best friend.

She was the most amazing person. Bright, bubbly, funny, vivacious, kind, intelligent, confident and fun-loving. Brooke had the world at her feet. She lived life to the full yearning to experience all it had to offer, whilst offering the world everything of herself also. I know she would have achieved greatness, success at whatever she decided to pursue. We lost Brooke tragically and suddenly to an awful illness. It was shocking, heartwrenching and painful. My whole life got picked up and turned upside down. Every emotion I had was ten-fold. It is honestly the worst thing I have ever experienced. No one saw it coming, and although the last conversation we had borders on almost eerie (for want of a better word) as we talked about our favourite memories with each other, told each other we lived each other and see you later...I never got to say goodbye face to face. This used to bother me but now I think that the conversation we had was pretty much perfect ...hopefully she will be someone I see when I die.

We were soulmates, everyone called us twins. Inseparable, always happy to fade into the background to highlight the other or to stand together and shine. I have very fond memories of our time together. Sometimes there are memories I feel I have forgotten, like her laugh or the way she spoke ...but usually that potent a memory is something my subconscious seems to save for when I really need it. When I need some extra motivation or inspiration.

My message to you is try and remember how important and special life is. We should make the most of every moment, live to the full so that not only you have wonderful memories but do for those that you nay leave behind.
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go...some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same..."

K, Xx

*please feel free to comment on any post!

for marriage equality

 This is an issue I am really passionate about. Please visit the links (another one at bottom of page).
                                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TBd-UCwVAY
I believe that if two people love each other then they deserve to have their feelings and commitment to each other recognised. It should not matter if the couple is male and female, male and male or female and female. It's all about love and human connection, wanting to find that person who you want to spend the rest of your life with... that shouldn't be something that is considered a right only for heterosexual couples.

The sanctity of marriage will be improved if anything-it's about love. Considering the current divorce rate I do not think that it could seriously be said that heterosexual couples are on the whole upholding it. I myself am not gay but have many gay friends, I'd love to be able to attend their weddings and celebrate their love the way I have with other friends .

Everyone should be facing or determining their own opinions on this important issue. This weekend, in Australia the labor party are meeting to discuss important issues such as this one.. it is expected either a conscience vote or an amendment to the Marriage Act will take place.

I hope these politicians serioulsy consider making marriage equal for all and stop this discrimination. At school and through my family's upbringing I learnt that discrimination and bullying are wrong, everyone deserves the right to be free..so why give such a conflicting example to children, the public of Australia and the world?
If it comes to a vote- I am FOR Marriage Equality. As the youtube video from getup! states, It's Time...

K, Xx. (Have your say Australia: http://www.australianmarriageequality.com/laborconference/ )

It's all about that connection...

It can be with family and with friends, but what often surprises me is the connection you can feel with people you have never met before and may never meet again. I think a great example of this is when you are watching your favourite band, and they sing a song that seems to define the moment you are standing in. And then you realise five, one hundred, a thousand people are all involved in this moment, with you, and each may be applying a certain significance to their own life.
Music is so incredibly important to me, I have had a moment like this where it felt like time slowed, the music swallowed me whole and the song and what that moment meant changed me. I was at the final Powderfinger concert to be played in Newcastle and they sang their song 'These Days' as the final song. It was so incredibly moving, this band have been around for as many years as I have been alive.
Their music is so easily relatable, i love these lyrics in particular from These Days: "This life well it's slipping right through my hands, these days turned out nothing like I had planned. Control well it's slipping right through my hands, these days turned out nothing like I had planned. Soon enough it comes, soon enough it comes, to tie us down..."       Hearing these lyrics, watching the emotions playing across people's faces and processing the thoughts in my own mind was so powerful in that moment. Our time here is short, we don't have total control over our lives. We all have responsibility and I think these lyrics reinforce how important it is to take our freedom and make the most of it while we can, which for me includes spending it with people who make my life better just by being in it.

I have some amazing people in my life. A brother who is 7years younger but it feels like we are twins, I am so inspired by him and the wonderful person he is. My sister, my mother and father are so amazingly strong and love life. I have a sisterhood-made up of myself and three of the girls I went to uni with. We meet up for dinners and discuss work, life and everything in between. It doesn't matter how often we see each other, the support, respect and connection is there everytime. To the people who this year have been there when I really needed it, who I haven't had to chase down to spend time with- thankyou to four or five of you I really appreciate it.

We all feel it. Whether someone admits it or not. One of the most (if not the most) important aspects of the life of a human is the connection we have with others. It validates, motivates, supports and challenges our very existence and who we are.