Make no apologies...

One of the best lines in a tv show.. ever?
 "I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke.."
Most people have been there, when a relationship falls apart, when you like someone and they make you promises and don't follow through or when the person you are crushing on, or someone you love, violates the trust you have given them.

It is one of the worst things ever when you put your belief in someone and get this little picture of happiness inside you, a feeling of hope and then it all comes crashing down. This has happened to me lately. Some people should not make promises or instill hope when they are unable to follow through.

Someone can judge you, berate you, not understand you- but if they have caused the pain, they should not really get a say as to how you pick up the pieces and eventually put them back together. Some days you just need, just want to make it to the next, You aren't concerned with been perfect, the word, the notion has no bearing, you just want to survive. To not feel alone. Disconnected. Unhappy.

If someone is going to solely base their opinion of you on you at your worst, you don't need them in your life. If they can't take you then, what makes you think they deserve you when you shine brightly? When you have so much to offer, so much joy, love, hope. They don't. Life isn't rainbows and sunshine every minute. Life is hard, life can be challenging. The important thing is not how you pick up and carry on (or how long it may take you to do so), but that you DO pick up the pieces and carry on. Take it one hour, one day, one week at a time. Rebuild. Reinvent. Renew.

A thought to finish, another quote from the character of Uncle Keith in One Tree Hill-

"Anyone who thinks this is more than you can handle is less than the kind of person you need in your life."

Find someone who understands, who is supportive and encouraging. They may not know what to do to help, but they will listen and comfort you.

Everyone needs a little bit of help sometimes...

Kooklah Xx

A glimpse of time...

I love those moments that remind you or seem to transport you back to a moment, feeling or memory from your past. I had a moment like this last night. I was at my best friend's house, we had plans to hangout following dinner (which he was shouting as a trade off to me as I was wrapping Sam's Christmas presents as he doesn't like to wrap)..
We ate dinner, and proceeded to have a few drinks and watch the Mighty Boosh. As I wrapped presents.

After I finished -and they looked fabulous, if I do say so! We began talking about high school and funny moments with friends, then we began (as our conversations often go) to talk about music. During the last two years of high school we loved a band called the Common Code, Sam had his guitar out and had been playing some music and we began trying to remember how the songs went. Sam pulled his old iPod out and put the songs on, it was like been transported back through time...I felt how I did when I met Sam for the first time and when I saw this band live. Moments stunning us as they happen, and like that quote from One Tree Hill (appears under my blog heading) those moments had lived on and I was able to live it and feel it all over again.

When life was sometimes simpler, no real responsibility, school was the epicentre of our life and the people we shared it with meant everything. Take notice of those moments, they are more than just memories ...its a visit back to a time you loved, or a lesson you learnt, or maybe a reminder that what you have with someone - that connection, ease, friendship- is something wonderful. And as I'm hoping, in my situation, that the connection and friendship continues to run through time and provide many more moments where that relationship was enjoyed, strengthened or grew.

Live to the full, you never know what may become significant to you, when you look back in years to come.
K, Xx